Insecure much?

Does someone like me? It isn't just a question that insecure middle school girls ask. It is also a question that plagues most of us into adulthood. Many of us walk around so uncertain and unsure of ourselves hoping for someone to give us that boon of encouragement that we need at any given point. We are creatures of immense hesitancy and verecund. We never do feel completely comfortable in our own skin.

I believe as a kid that is why we crave the attention and affirmation of our parents. At least then we feel as if there is a secure place to go. After that security is felt, we move on to our peers and others, but someone who never feels secure around their parents lives a perpetual childhood. You meet these people, who are like 53 and still pining for the approval of their parents. It is unnatural and a result (normally) of never feeling as if they received that as a child.

The antithesis of that position may also be something that seems to affect us into adulthood. However, whether you are in either of those two camps or the meaty part of the bell curve in between, the fact is that we all want affirmation somehow. As adults we usually don't blatantly ask, but the insecurity still resides in most of us. Is someone really my friend? How can I really tell?

I have come up with a theory that may be crazy, but I always feel we can tell the affection and respect someone has for us by the way they introduce us. When we like someone, we introduce them with enthusiasm and vigor. We love to introduce those people whom we love and respect. If we are begrudgingly introducing someone, I think it shows up.

Similarly, we are gleaning information on what others feel about us by how they introduce us. So, I am forever trying to be around someone I want to like me with someone they know to see how they will introduce me. This way I can determine what they think about me. But more than anything, I realize that my children are right now gleaning from me what I think about them.

I realize how fragile they are and how on a day-to-day basis what I say and do can alter their ego and how they feel about themselves. Every day, I either push them closer to neurosis or closer to a proper view of self. So, I am exceedingly thankful that I have a Parakletos and I pray continually to the Sovereign God that He will take my works of filthy rags and turn them into lovely clothing for my children to wear into a phenomenal future!