We want to be liked. We want to feel needed. George Costanza is laughable in his attempt to get his best friend's girlfriend to like him, while completely ignoring his own girlfriend. And while that is something all outsiders can look at with their belly fully engaged in the laughter process, the fact is that many of us do small versions of this in our every day life.
I honestly have gone through life and never noticed this phenomena on myself until recently. I have an acquaintance that for one reason or another doesn't care for me. As shocking as this is to you (and my own ego), it just seems to be a fact backed up by years of data. Yet, I find myself going overboard to try to please him, rather than just let it go and realize that there are a couple other people who like me.
It isn't about agreement. My list of friends is not limited to those who agree with me on every single issue that might come up. In fact, I have befriended democrats, those who dislike sports, SEC and Big Ten fans, people who like rap music, those who love to celebrate birthdays, those who are vegetarians, and even the occasional non-Christian. Some people agree with me on all of those things, yet still can't seem to find the common ground of friendship with me. I find myself trending towards conversations that harp on agreement, and it feels forced.
Friendship is almost impossible to quantify or formulate, and I think I may give up. Maybe I am old and crotchety enough, that I should begin to revel in those who don't like me. Perhaps, I should take solace in the fact that even Jesus wasn't liked. The only problem is Jesus was perfect, and I know that some of my foibles are some of the things that cause me to be disliked. Yet, I feel that even if I could completely mortify those actions, I would still not receive a 100% approval rating.
I feel that when I finally grasp that friendship is not agreement on everything, but rather the gift of being determined to not let the disagreements cause an elimination of that friendship, then I will have a more firm knowledge of who my friends are. Yet, the question remains, at least in my mind, "Can I overcome those who, for reasons I cannot fathom, are not (nor do they want to be) my friends?" In my own way, I struggle as much as Costanza, and I don't like it.
First, yes, I wanna be your friend. Second, if friendship is the gift of being determined to not let the disagreements cause an elimination of that friendship, is it then possibly that sometimes enemies are made from the curse of being determined to not let agreements cause an elimination of disdain?
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